FAMILY AND MARRIAGE: What is sacrificial love? (2024)

“Think now and then that ‘there is a man who would give his life, to keep a life you love beside you.’” — Charles Dickens

“But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” — Bible (Romans 5:8)

On June 1, 2007, in the town of Abu Samak, Iraq, Staff Sergeant Travis W. Atkins and his squad confronted four suspicious individuals (insurgents). The insurgents responded belligerently and became aggressive. Atkins tried to control one of the insurgents by putting his arms behind his back. When he noticed he was reaching for something under his clothes, Atkins immediately wrapped him in a bear hug and threw him to the ground, away from his fellow soldiers. Atkins maintained his hold on the insurgent, placing his body on top of him, further sheltering his patrol. With Atkins on top of him, the insurgent detonated a bomb strapped to his body, killing Atkins. Atkins acted with complete disregard for his own safety. In this critical and selfless act of valor, Staff Sergeant Atkins saved the lives of the three other soldiers who were with him and gallantly gave his life for his country.

Memorial Day began as a way to honor those who died in the Civil War and has become a day to honor all American veterans who gave their lives in sacrifice to our nation

We’ve talked about agape love many times here. As a reminder, here is a good technical definition: “Agape love is unconditional, never dependent on reciprocity, and given freely in the most challenging times,” (Domenique Harrison, MPH, LMFT, LPCC.) Or in other words, agape love is that unconditional love demonstrated by God to us and which He expects us to demonstrate to others. God expects us to have an agape love for our family, friends, and even those we don’t know. Agape love may be demonstrated in many different ways, but the ultimate characteristic is that it puts others first. Remember the second greatest commandment:”Love your neighbor as yourself.”

Love, and in particular, agape love, is an action word – it’s a verb. We are familiar with John 3:16 in the Bible: “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whoever believes on him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” God’s love was (and is) an action. God has also given us the ability to have emotions, and one of them is the emotion of love, but that is not the driving force. The action word love drives us to a loving behavior towards others, no matter what their response.

Whether or not we really understand it, the willingness to serve in the military, or in any undertaking where we are put at risk for the sake of others, is a form of agape love. Martin Luther King, Jr. once said “If a man hasn't discovered something that he will die for, he isn't fit to live.”

Here’s an interesting quote by the American Psychological Association: “As positive psychology research shows, it’s not material goods that make our lives rich and fulfilling, but rather work, love, play and service to others.”

The phrase “Better red than dead,” was around for a while in the 1960’s but eventually fell into disrepute. However, the underlying sentiment is difficult to eliminate. We often find it difficult to sacrifice our own desires for the sake of others. We know it’s best to think of others and their needs and hurts, and to want to do what we can to help them, but it’s not easy.

I’m thankful for those in our military service who are willing to put others first.

Memorial Day Services will be held on May 27 in Aiken County at the Aiken County Veterans Park, 1435 Richland Avenue East, presented by Marine Corps League 939 James Hammons Detachment, and in North Augusta at Wade Hampton Park, 302 Georgia Ave., North Augusta, presented by Aiken County Veterans Council. Both services will commence at 11 a.m.